Boy friend & girl friend Humour

Boy Clown : Since we met, I can’t eat or drink...

Girl Clown : Why not ??

Boy Clown : I’m broke.

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Boy Clown : May I hold your hand??
Girl Clown : No thanks, it isn’t heavy.

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Girl Clown : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night??
Boy Clown : What time was it??

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Girl Clown : Say you love me! Say you love me!
Boy Clown : Okay, "You love me"

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Girl Clown : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
Boy Clown : Sure, what’s your phone number??

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Girl Clown : I think the poorest people are the happiest..
Boy Clown : Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple..

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Girl Clown : Do you remember when you proposed to me? I was so

overwhelmed, I couldn’t speak for an hour..
Boy Clown : Yes Darling, that was the happiest hour of my life…

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Girl Clown : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
Boy Clown : Don’t you ever want to improve??

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Boy Clown : I love you! I love you so much, I could die for you!
Girl Clown : How soon??

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Boy Clown : I would go to the end of the world for you!
Girl Clown : Yes, but would you stay there??

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Boy Clown : You remind me of the sea.
Girl Clown : Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting?
Boy Clown : NO, because you make me sick.

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Girl Clown : John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly. What do you think,?
Boy Clown : I agree with both. You’re pretty ugly.

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Boy Clown : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortably
seated.
Girl Clown : So what do you do?
Boy Clown : I close my eyes.


When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the

simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband.

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You know your boyfriend is in love with you when he loses interest in his

car for a couple of days.

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Her boyfriend is so stupid, when they were handing out brains he thought

they said trains, so he asked for a slow one.

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What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

About 45 pounds.

What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend?

45 minutes.

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Jill: You remind me of the sea.
Jack: Because I'm wild, unpredictable and romantic?
Jill: No, because you make me sick.

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Men are like a pack of cards, you need a heart to love them, a diamond to

marry them, a club to batter them, and a spade to bury them.

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When I asked my girlfriend if I could see her home she handed me a picture

of it.


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My girlfriend just saved me a lot of money - she married someone else.

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If my girlfriend said what she thought she'd be completely speechless.

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One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked

around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked

the man for letting him out.
The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to visit

Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships

make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a minute and said, "No, I don't think I can do that.

Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the

highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean.

Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much

to ask."
The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "Well, there is one

other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to

understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she

temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what

makes her tick?"
The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes

or four?"

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Fred: My girlfriend loves nature.
Dave: That's very generous of her, considering what nature has done to her.

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Boyfriend: Is that a new perfume I smell?
Girlfriend: It is, and you do!

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My girlfriend phoned me and said.. "Come on over there's nobody home." I

went over. Nobody was home!

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I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision.
I've suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an

affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up.
She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently, although when I ask

which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know

them".
I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the

drive although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the

car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi?
I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went

beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I

checking up on her.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my g/f. I think deep downI

just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I

decided to check on her.
I decided I was going to hide behind my car which would give me a veiw of

the whole street so I could see which car she gets out of. It was whilst

crouched behind my car that I noticed rust around my rear wheel arch.
So what should I do? Should I take it into a body repair shop or should I

buy some stuff from Halfords and try to repair it myself?

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Six girls are on vacation without their boyfriends. They are walking on a

beach when they are attracted to the sight of a beautiful six-storey hotel.
Wishing to check in immediately, they walk in. They are greeted by a

charming hotel manager who tells them: "Go up to each storey and you will

see a sign. If you like what it says, we'll put you up there."
So the six girlfriends take the lift to the floor above, where they see

this sign: "All the men here have no money, and are short and ugly." The

girlfriends laugh and move off.
On the next storey, they are met by this sign: "All the men here have

money, but are short and plain." The girls continue on their way.
At the third level, they see this sign: "All the men here have money, and

are tall but ugly." The girls smile and move on.
On the fourth floor, the sign says: "All the men here have money, and are

tall and handsome." This excites the girls and they are about to go get

registered when they remember that there is one more storey above. So they

head up there.
At the top, they see this big sign: "There are no men here. This floor was

built only to prove that there is just no way to please a woman."


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Why are great girlfriends hard to find?
Because the right girls are like parking spaces - all the best ones are

taken and the ones available are handicapped.