Mother humour

The hand that rocks the cradle usually is attached to someone who isn't getting enough sleep."
John Fiebig
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"I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids."
Unknown
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The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do over again. "Yes," she replied. "But not the same ones."
David Finkelstein
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A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday school presentation. His mother was in the front row to prompt him. She gestured and formed the words silently with her lips, but it did not help. Her son's memory was blank. Finally, she leaned forward and whispered the cue, "I am the light of the world." The child beamed and with great feeling and a loud clear voice said, "My mother is the light of the world."
Bits and Pieces, 1989
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A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does. The next day in a written test, she included this question: "My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I pick up things. What am I?" When the test papers were turned in, the teacher was astonished to find that almost 50 percent of the students answered the question with the word Mother
Unknown
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Mommy, Mommy! What's an Oedipus complex?

Shut up and kiss me!

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Mommy, Mommy! What's a nymphomaniac?

Shut up and help me get Gramma off the doorknob!
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Mommy, Mommy! I'm getting dizzy.

Shut up or I'll nail your other foot down!